The Brittas Empire

1Back from the Dead

30 minJan 2, 1992

Gordon is away at a conference in Bulgaria. Meanwhile the Leisure Centre is low on visitors, then news spreads that Gordon is dead. Everyone is happy and the centre is pouring with visitors. All goes well until Gordon returns which shocks everyone, especially Carole who thinks Gordon is back from the dead.

2Temple of the Body

30 minJan 9, 1992

Gordon explains to the staff about worshipping other people's temples - his euphemism for the human body. He then finds a cupboard is being slept in when finding a duvet cover sticking out, then Gavin's hat turns up. Gordon tells Tim, who gets cross when he thinks Gavin is sleeping in the centre with someone. Gordon decides to find out what Gavin is up to and lays a bug in Linda's top so he can listen in. But Gordon is shocked at who is actually using the cupboard.

3An Inspector Calls

30 minJan 16, 1992

An inspector is coming over and Gordon wants everything to be as good as gold for when he gets to the Leisure Centre. However, Gordon then has to deal with a pigeon in the gymnasium. Ideas to remove it go from bad to worse. It's also Helen's birthday and Gordon has bought her a moped, about which she is far from thrilled. What will happen when the inspector makes his inspection?

4Set in Concrete

30 minJan 23, 1992

An argument with the Rotary Club results in them setting Gordon's feet in concrete. After frequent arguments break out, Gordon thinks the centre has sick building syndrome. A specialist arrives, and Laura is tasked with explaining to Gordon that he is the cause of the centre's problems. Laura proceeds to explain subtext and tone of voice to Gordon, after which he decides to return the moped bought for Helen and buy her a car instead, to her delight.

5Mums and Dads

30 minJan 30, 1992

A concert is to be held at Whitbury Leisure Centre. Also, Gordon's dad Jim has come to the centre with a piano. But Gordon is expecting a grand piano, which is going to be havoc getting through to the gymnasium. Petrov, who is going to be performing, then encounters a problem when Jim drops his piano from the stairs. Who will perform now?

6Safety First

30 minFeb 13, 1992

Gordon is running a practice fire drill and makes it more complicated than ever. Meanwhile, Helen is planning a picnic in Gordon's office and wants him there. Gordon tries to convince Councillor Dapping of the need for a new fire escape by describing an extreme scenario. Dapping isn't convinved, but could Gordon's example prove prophetic?

7New Generations

30 minFeb 20, 1992

A pregnant cow loose in the centre eats some of Colin's leaves, which speed up labour. It gives birth on the squash courts, assisted by a gynaecologist. Carole has also eaten some of the leaves, and her twins are delivered by the vet who had come to assist the bovine mother-to-be. Helen tells Laura that she is pregnant with twins and although Carole was too worse for wear to know the father of her twins, Helen does!