Barney Miller

1Paternity

30 minOct 29, 1981

Wojo's proven innocent of a paternity suit, but at a cost; a beauty queen is robbed; an irate theater patron vandalizes the theater.

2Advancement

30 minNov 5, 1981

Luger wants Barney to pen a letter for his mail-order bride; a lottery winner seeks revenge when the ticket seller loses his winning entry; Harris gets a new book deal.

3The Car

30 minNov 12, 1981

A car thief's conscience gets the better of him ... after twenty-five years; Levitt saves a child from a precarious fate; an overzealous sanitation officer goes to extremes.

4Possession

30 minNov 19, 1981

A husband is assaulted for forcing his wife into designer jeans; a disorderly conduct report leads to a man who swears he's possessed by an evil spirit.

5Stress Analyzer

30 minNov 26, 1981

A job fair brings out the worst in a Peace Corps recruiter; Dietrich volunteers for a department stress experiment.

6Games

Dec 10, 1981

A manufacturer of computer game processors is accused of espionage; a WAC supplements her income on the street.

7Homeless

30 minDec 17, 1981

The 12th is overrun with homeless vagrants on Christmas; a greeting-card writer snaps; a cattle prod is the weapon of choice for a local merchant.

8The Tontine

Jan 7, 1982

The penultimate survivor of a tontine attempts suicide in order to concede the money to his cousin.

9Examination Day

Jan 14, 1982

The detectives don uniforms while Levitt and the others take sergeant's exams; Luger, working with the squad, is overly rough with a collar, and later with Barney.

10The Clown

30 minJan 21, 1982

Street clowns fall prey to a serial mugger; a hundred inmates are sneaked out of holding in the middle of the night.

11Chinatown (1)

Feb 4, 1982

A murder witness is uncooperative, so he, Harris and Dietrich are forced to share an apartment in seclusion until he talks; Lieutenant Scanlon falls for a wealthy mugging victim.

12Chinatown (2)

Feb 11, 1982

Unless he confesses soon, Harris and Dietrich's unwilling roommate may witness another murder. Meanwhile, harassment charges are pressed against Lieutenant Scanlon.

13Hunger Strike

Feb 18, 1982

Dietrich aids an elderly psychiatric patient who may be speaking a foreign language; a nuclear activist goes on a hunger strike to end nuclear arms; Barney declines a deputy inspector nomination.

14Arrival

Feb 25, 1982

Luger's mail-order bride arrives; an elderly woman mugs a man.

15Obituary

30 minMar 11, 1982

A newspaper obituary causes a stir when the subject turns up alive; the detectives snag a modern-day chicken thief.

16Inquiry

30 minMar 26, 1982

Internal Affairs is called in when a charge of excessive force is leveled against Wojo; an angry parent takes action when his child is declined admission into an exclusive kindergarten.

17Old Love

30 minApr 2, 1982

Dietrich's old flame pays a visit; a former child actor clubs an agent with a telephone.

18Altercation

30 minApr 9, 1982

Harris and Arnold come to blows; a mugging victim confesses to a twenty-five year old crush on Barney.

19Bones

30 minApr 29, 1982

A museum presses charges when an Indian retrieves his tribe's ancestral bones from an exhibit; a scoutmaster catches a mugger.

20Landmark (1)

May 6, 1982

Wojo's discover of an ancient weapon puts the 12th Precinct up for sale.

21Landmark (2)

May 13, 1982

The 12th Precinct is sold; Dietrich arrests the head of a crime school; Luger tries to duck out on his mail-order bride.

22Landmark (3)

May 20, 1982

Friends, foes and felons alike drop by to pay their last respects as the detectives prepare to leave for new assignments; Harris contemplates his resignation when he's assigned to Flushing Meadows; Barney recalls friends departed before he turns out the squad room lights for the last time.