Crossing Swords

1Shamrock Shakedown

23 minDec 10, 2021

Patrick finds himself on trial for betraying the kingdom, and only avoids punishment with a Hail Mary promise to the king: that he will find the legendary leprechaun gold. Patrick is thrilled when he enlists a real, honest-to-god knight to help him in his quest, until he realizes Sir Kutter is a wild card who plays by his own rules.

2Toxic Femininity

23 minDec 10, 2021

A drug epidemic at Blossom’s all-girls academy threatens to derail the king and queen’s scheme to draw attention to their newfound wealth. Patrick and Broth go undercover as female students to protect Blossom and bust the drug ring, but they find that the truth behind this mystery is even more shocking than they suspected.

3Destination: Wedding

23 minDec 10, 2021

The wedding of the year brings Merriman a chance to mend fences with King Rami IV, whose son is arranged to marry Holden the squire. But when Ruben crashes the wedding in order to win Holden back, Patrick uncovers a malevolent undercurrent to the nuptials.

4Good Vibrations

23 minDec 10, 2021

When Queen Tulip slips into a sex-toy-induced coma, King Merriman throws a beauty pageant to replace her. Patrick feels guilty because he recruited the sex toy’s inventor. While every eligible lady in town tries to win the king’s hand, Patrick desperately attempts to wake the queen before the kingdom is torn apart.

5Get Your Minchachas Out

23 minDec 10, 2021

On an island training retreat, Patrick and the squires meet the most famous knight in the kingdom, but Patrick quickly decides the knight’s lessons are superficial crap. Elsewhere on the island, Merriman and Tulip attend couples counseling that quickly turns into a struggle for their very lives.

6Tent Pitching

23 minDec 10, 2021

The circus returns to the kingdom, much to the king’s delight. Blarney is reunited with his uppity clown college classmates. Patrick, however, is concerned that Danielle’s circus origins make this an opportune time for her to strike again.

7Nothin, Usurp With U?

23 minDec 10, 2021

The kingdom adjusts to life under its new (old) king, the Old King, who is back on the throne thanks to Danielle’s machinations. Patrick is torn between loyalty to the kingdom and loyalty to his former king, Merriman. Meanwhile, Merriman tries life as a civilian and quickly finds a new career after a mushroom-fueled drug trip.

8Sad-iator

23 minDec 10, 2021

As punishment for his refusal to turn in King Merriman, Patrick finds himself sentenced to fight in the arena as a gladiator. Merriman starts to take a shine to his new life in the human resources department of a cobbler shop. But when he learns of Patrick’s fate, Merriman puts corporate life aside and attempts to reclaim his throne.

9Knight of the F**king Dead

23 minDec 10, 2021

Merriman and Tulip are back just in time for the annual Hallowtide party. Patrick is tasked with chaperoning Princess Blossom but abandons his duties to hang out with the knights. Blossom swaps places with her deceased Aunt Donna in a game of Bloody Mary.

10Hard Day’s Knight

23 minDec 10, 2021

After months of the kingdom depleting the jewel mines underground, the Mole People finally lash out at the surface-dwellers who have ruined their home. With the royal family in danger, Patrick must journey down into the darkness, where he encounters terror both real and existential; does he even want to be a knight anymore? When Patrick is double-crossed by allies, his world truly comes crashing down around him, and his life will never be the same.